One week

Without you.
It wasnt a great week.
Not at all. I felt empty.

Faking is very hard, harder than i thought.
To keep silence and not saying a word abt how i feel is hard.
I want to say how i feel, everything to you.
But you never asked..
Dont you even think abt how i felt?

Hurm, im still in shocked..
I just cant bare it anymore..
I'll cry when even i want to. even in public.
I just cant bare it anymore...

Im used of having you..
Do you know how it felt?
When another half of you is missing?
When all the promises u made, disappeared?
When your heart is against the life?

I want to hold you back but i knew..
It wont change a thing.
Now, its about time..
I need to be strong.
Strong enough to face the truth..
and mature enough to handle the truth.

Let the past be the past.
You can do this.
Keep aside your feeling and focus on something else.

I must, no looking back.

Smiling but I'm close to tears

I felt different, not the same convincing feeling like before..
i guess, this time..its true, its happening..
the fear that i've avoided all along..
but hey..the fear has come, right in front of my face..
face it izzah! face it! with ur big fake smile!
just face it..u hv no choice,hurm..
it hurts, alot.. :'(

it hurts more when u know
how easy it ended and having to move on
how easy..

I'm in the mood to hear all type of songs..
just so u know, im okay..
really, im okay..

by saying that, it felt better..
believe it or not, pretending is easy
rather than admitting and accept the fact..

So, here i am..counting days..
soon I'll be 20 years old.
a step to a new life with new responsibility
and expecting a slightly grow of muturity haha

As today, im standing alone <3

Sem break!

SERONOK NYAAAAAAA!! sekian muka excited ni!
sem break datang menjelma pada waktu yg sangat2 saya perlukan!
after all the hard work, not enough sleep and dieting due to no time to eat :pp alah!
my holiday started well, here it goes until today :)

FRIDAY : went to pick my little cousin and we went  out for dinner,makan!makan! looking for the best restaurants but the traffic was so bad,so we ended up at Kluang station! yayyy dapat mkn my fav chicken chop, erk,teruk2~ *geleng2 kepala, da pkul 10pm mkn berat lagi, haihh haha tak kesa!!

SATURDAY : woke up late, watched Dumping Malam thru youtube, heh heh free! tak sempat tgk wayang busy punye pasal! after that we went to Wangsa walk, watched Hantu Mak Limah Balik Kampung, im so outdated, after so long, baru skrg nk tgk heh! (-_-") but it was hilarious hahahahahhaha!! no wonder, all this while, the movie was fully booked. thanx god, we got 2nd row seats. ambik kau! mndongak! haha

SUNDAY : woke up late again,haha tabiat time holidays, who doesnt rite? my only bro wanted to treat us for lunch at Bamboo Restaurant, Ampang :))) hahaha org nak belanja apa lagi laju je siap2 mandi! hehe my two beloved unties pun join, aww family meal :pp restaurant ni ala ala kampung buluh,haha semua pun buluh, so soothing :) and not to forget, the food was very nice,worth it lah with the price. see pictures below --> 

but i guess, Atthuthaya kt sebelah Carrefour to lagi best,aummm tomyam ni, the best! after that, we went hang out at my aunt's house at Ukay Perdana.

MONDAY : i had to wake up very early for the sake of my sayang,haha my early is at 10am hahaha! it took me 1 1/2 hours to siap2 and he fetched me up with his Monster, aww i miss you so much,Monster! haha we planned to watch Green hornets but then..problems occur,haha nevermind..so he send me to klcc first, then he settled his stuff  then he came back to me.. aww within an hour! sayang uu,haha we were starving,i could hear foods calling for me!! waaa haha he ate his fav nasi ayam and i ate ayam penyek.hehe tak kenyang lagi so pergi makan waffle kt Rasa. then chit chat story mory usha hot guys buli adip (or was it me yg always kene buli) haha and other lovely things we did ;) what a very simple date yet it makes me love u even more. and we went back, he drove me home. atoto ;D 

TUESDAY : here i am, woke up early bcs i promised myself at least on how to cook this hols. so yah, i made lempeng and cucur sayur,haha itu jelah yang mampu (-_-") and here i am in front of my lappy missing my sayang who went to Cherating without me,urghhh!! cepat balik tau, nak jumpa lagii ;( what am i going to do today, perhaps menjahit and catch some icecream at baskin robbin?? hehe i dont know yet.
Most importantly, happy 2years and 3months sayang :') ilysm

I love holidayssssss :))
I hope your holidays are full with happiness, this is the time to catch up with families and friends.
aww, thank you holiday and and! HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! to my chinese friends, share angpau jgn lupa! ;p take care peeps