Smiling but I'm close to tears

I felt different, not the same convincing feeling like before..
i guess, this time..its true, its happening..
the fear that i've avoided all along..
but hey..the fear has come, right in front of my face..
face it izzah! face it! with ur big fake smile!
just face it..u hv no choice,hurm..
it hurts, alot.. :'(

it hurts more when u know
how easy it ended and having to move on
how easy..

I'm in the mood to hear all type of songs..
just so u know, im okay..
really, im okay..

by saying that, it felt better..
believe it or not, pretending is easy
rather than admitting and accept the fact..

So, here i am..counting days..
soon I'll be 20 years old.
a step to a new life with new responsibility
and expecting a slightly grow of muturity haha

As today, im standing alone <3