Thanks to my beautiful girls
They are always here to guide me thru this hardest phase im my life now.
They told me to stay strong and love myself more.
I realised that i hv neglected myself all this while.
Its simply bcs i love someone else more.
Now that he left, Im left with myself.
Hey Izzah Harith, thank u for not leaving me too haha
My girls said that i need to follow steps of recovery
If i want to be like him, to simply move on.
tetttttt no! its not simple to move on, unlike you.
So, first, give back his stuffs.
I mean not presents,but stuffs that he gave.
Ok, i gave them back. :'(
Second, keep his presents away.
Ok,i hv put them in a box so i wont see them or smell them
or touch them bcs they bring back memories.
Third, i need to stop online.
Ok, i constraint myself for days without looking.
It does helps alot,yes. But then i miss online with my friends
and end up looking at his page so now im thinking of perhaps deactivate.
Forth, i need to stop using phone.
Ok, i did that. Sometimes, i sleep with phones off.
Sometimes, i went out without phone.
So that i wont text or call you.
Fifth, i need to stop crying.
Waiyoo,this is the hardest one. Bcs i cant!
I can bear it anymore when someone ask me "Are u okay izzah?"
or "Hows life now izzah?"
pffftttttttt dont ask anything please.pretty pls?
Bcs im not okay and my life sucks.
I did all of that, whats the different now?
NOTHING
The feelings are just too strong to fade away.
I can only pretend,thats the best i could do.
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